My husband and I were high school sweethearts who married young, during our college years. After 6 years of marriage, we decided we were ready to start a family, and quickly became pregnant with our first child. We had a complication free pregnancy for the most part, and gave birth to a healthy baby girl.
Life didn’t go as planned for the next few years, and circumstances caused us to wait to have any more kids. While I always wanted more children, my husband was content with our one child and didn’t want any more. I returned to college to pursue a nursing career. During this time, God changed my husband’s heart, and he came to really want another baby as well. When our daughter was 5, right after I graduated from nursing school, we decided to have another baby.
Because we had no trouble conceiving the first time, we didn’t anticipate any trouble getting pregnant again. We started trying to become pregnant, while also moving into a new home with room for another baby in a better neighborhood for raising a family. Many months passed, and we were still not pregnant. We didn’t understand why we weren’t pregnant yet, but we had faith that God wouldn’t have brought us to this place of unity, both equally desiring to grow our family, if He didn’t intend to give us another child.
Finally, after a year and a half of trying unsuccessfully to become pregnant, we decided to go see a fertility doctor to see why and to find out what our options were. My husband and I had always been interested in adoption, so we were also discussing this option. Our prayer heading into the fertility tests was that we would have a problem that was easily fixable, or that God would shut the door entirely on conceiving so we would know to move on and pursue adoption. We knew heading into it that we would be willing to try some things, but in vitro was not something we would consider.
We had some tests done, and were told that short of a miracle, in vitro was our only option. Our chances of conceiving any other way was something like 1 in 900,000. This was the closed door we were looking for. Though we grieved over this news, we were also grateful to no longer be in limbo. In April of 2010, we contacted Christian Family Care and began the process of becoming adoption certified. It was a grueling process, but by August of that year we were certified and put in the ‘match book’ – the book of families that birth mothers look at to choose a potential forever family for their unborn child. In October, we received a call that a young woman who was pregnant with a little boy had chosen us from the book and wanted to meet us. In November, the day before Thanksgiving, we had the privilege of meeting the most selfless, courageous person either of us had ever met. This young woman so clearly loved this little person growing inside her. She rubbed her belly and carried ultrasound in her wallet. She told us what she wanted his name to be, and that she had his ultrasound pictures hung up on the wall in her bedroom. She loved him and wanted him, but her life was unstable and she didn’t feel that she could provide the best life for him. Her heart for her baby was summed up in a conversation we had shortly after she delivered him, when she asked if we were worried she would change her mind. Her response to my answer was this – “I won’t change my mind. I love him so much, and I know I could give him an okay life. But I want him to have a great life, and I think you guys can give him a great life.”
On January 21, 2011, I got an early wake up call. Our birth mom was in labor, 6 weeks early. I rushed to the hospital, and had the honor of being there when our son was delivered. I was the first person to hold him (other than the NICU nurse who did a quick drying and assessing of his need for oxygen). I cradled him and wept, and then handed him to the woman who chose to give him life. I watched her fall in love with all her heart, and her heart break, all at the same time. Watching someone give up the privilege of raising her baby, and entrusting you to raise him instead, believing you will give him the best life possible, the life she believes he deserves – it’s the most humbling experience my husband and I have ever had. I’m not sure I could have done what she did. I’m not sure I could have been that selfless, that brave. To say we are thankful for what she did does not do our feelings justice. She gave us a gift beyond compare. She gave us our son – a tiny 3 pound 7 ounce, 16 inch long miracle who completed our family in the most perfect way.
When my heart was grieving because I would not have another biological child, I trusted that God had a reason, but I couldn’t see that reason or understand the why. But every day I look at my son and I THANK GOD that He didn’t let us get pregnant again. We feel so, so blessed that we were allowed to experience the miracle of adoption. We are doubly blessed to have experienced pregnancy and childbirth first hand, and the gift of adoption. ~ Shannon
THANK YOU so much Shannon for sharing Your Story! We are sure it will touch the hearts of many. Please share this story with those who might be pregnant with an unplanned pregnancy or a family who may have fertility issues who wants to grow their family.
Live It Up AZ ~ Live your best Life.
Share your comments or helpful tips below on Adoption & Foster Care: